In this Conversation with Dr. Nicole Beasley, we explore the call to be a healer, and loving darkness, welcoming darkness, healing through darkness. We discuss growing up at the end of the Civil Rights movement in a brown body yet a white world.
Nicole’s strong yearning for God began to receive answers at age 20. “I’m not alone. Spirit is here.” She began learning how to care for herself in a sacred way. “Women know at a visceral level, it’s not ok to be female.” Nicole continued to reclaim herself by going through layers of memories and pain to reclaim the aliveness of her womb. “This line doesn’t meet the circle. The Circle has so much wisdom.” With a passion to meet darkness, she felt called to love what has been labeled unlovable. The path of love is her chosen hard and beautiful way.
We discuss historical mental illness, labels, trauma, and choosing between joining a monastery or becoming a mother in order to awaken to herself as spirit. Even though Nicole’s teacher at the time told her that if she chose to be a mother her chances of awakening would be like “a snowball surviving in hell.” Nicole followed here heart’s journey as a mother to discover transformation, healing and deep rest. She realized mediation is rest—in the trees, in nature, in life with her children. All of her striving for awakening was broken in the fire of mothering. She saw the idea of awakening only happening in a monastery as a trick of an old school egoic tendency. “Tumbling through a river to discover what spirit is creating. Presence is a yes to hearing what may not be spoken.”
In short: we discuss Nicole’s spiritual journey and how she realized love is at the heart of it. Leaving her spiritual teacher and the possibility of living at a monastery behind to become a mother was a transformational step on her spiritual journey. Surprisingly it lead her to a more embodied experience of awakening. She was unable to strive in a linear way toward her egoic notions of awakening. In this talk we discuss how life shapes us into awaken through love. Enjoy!
Listen to the conversation HERE.
💜 To receive Nicole’s “Love Notes” please go to: https://nicolebeasley.com/love-notes/
Prajna O’Hara is dharma meditation teacher, trauma-informed Hakomi therapist, medicine woman, and the mother of three children, two with disabilities. Read about her spiritual journey in the best-selling book, Edge of Grace, A Fierce Awakening to Love.